The 365th Day...

She started out as just a thought. A what if. A wouldn't it be nice.



Then the thought turned into a reality, a squirmy alien in the belly. After a long, long wait, she was there. All pink and puffy and fully formed, looking like me and like him and like everyone on both sides of our families, all at the same time. The world seemed to stop, and there was only the three of us in this cocoon of time and space.



We brought her home and she grew.







She grew and she grew and she grew.





And as she grew, I did too.



She changed me on a cellular level.





I think of all that wasn't here a year ago. The little voice coming from the little bedroom in the morning. The toys taking over the house. All the little books and little shoes and little clothes that mean that there is a little person here who is slowly carving out a space in the world.



And I think about the joy. The pure, uncensored, unadulterated joy that explodes from her being. The belly laughs. The giggles. The never ending smiles. The joy we feel in watching her learn to do the simplest things. The joy in just having her near.







Mostly though, I'm just grateful. Grateful to put her to bed each night under peaceful skies, secure in the knowledge we'll wake up the same. Grateful to not have to worry how I am going to feed her or keep her safe. Grateful that she is healthy and growing and bright. Grateful that, unlike too many mothers around the world, I get to watch her turn one.



I can't and don't want to imagine my life without you in it. Happy Birthday baby girl.



PS: On a less sentimental note, I don't think I ever properly thanked you for helping to clear up my adult acne. Much appreciated.

Loosening it's Grip...

So you know how sometimes they'll send an athlete to the Olympics whom they don't expect to medal, or even place well, but just to gain some valuable insight and experience? Well, that was me with this whole Olympic knitting challenge.

I joined the Harlot's challenge, not the Ravelympics and I kinda knew from the beginning that it wasn't going to go well. I got frustrated with the first pattern I chose, then chose another, which I liked well enough. But part way through the back piece, my hands really started hurting while knitting. Then it dawned on me that all the sweaters I've knit for myself have been knit out of chunky yarn and as fate would have it, I look really awful in big chunky knits. That was a discouraging realization to make when I was well committed to this sweater already.




I tried to at least finish the back, but it just didn't happen. For a number of reasons, all of which I could rattle off, but basically, I just wasn't enjoying the knit and so I put it down and did something else. So here's what I did instead;

Took my daughter swimming for the first time; transitioned her from two naps to one; taught her to make the sounds for a monkey and a lion; went to play dates and met new people; taught her the hand sign for drink; finished a birthday present for my nephew; had really awesome naps; played peek-a-boo and chase me around the room. And I don't mean that in a self-righteously kind of way. Part of why I took on this challenge was to see if the obsession to knit until my neck would kink or circulation stopped in my lower extremities was still there. If it was still so all consuming that I would shut out the world and do nothing else. I have to say, it's kind of a nice feeling to know that that is no longer the case.

There was a point in time where I think this hobby of mine was a little out of balance with the rest of my life and somewhere along the way, it took over other things I once enjoyed doing, like reading, going outside, actually watching a movie with my full attention. I think things are evening out a bit now. Which is quite nice really. I've enjoyed getting re-acquainted with books and the escape they provide. I think I might even be looking forward to getting out more with Hank, just he and I, now that the weather is improving. And finally getting around to seeing Star Trek distraction free was definitely worth it. I still love my knitting and my yarn and all the potential that it holds, but I think it's just been reassigned a new rank.

Not to mention I'm totally cheating with crochet at the moment. I'm tragically behind on this amigurumi bandwagon, but man, is it ever CUH-UTE STUFF. Making a bunny right now. So stinking cute, can't wait to show it to you.

So no gold medal for me, even if it is pretend and doesn't mean anything.

Until later...

(It may seem as though this post is a little past it's due date, but I did have it mostly composed about a week ago now. Since then the dang old Internet just hasn't been co-operating around here. Hence publication now.)