WARNING: This post contails course language and zero knitting content. This post contails the angry musings of a pregnant woman. Reader discretion is strongly advised.
An Open Letter to the Asshole who Soaked Me with Slush While I was Patiently Standing at my Rural Mailbox, Waiting for you to Pass so that I Could Safely Waddle Across the Road;
You, sir, are and asshole. And clearly driving too fast.
And since I've started the ball rolling...
An Open Letter to the Old Man Who Told Me to 'Smile' in the Grocery Store Parking Lot;
I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt and try to be reasonable when blogging about how much you pissed me off, but then I got slushed, so all bets are off.
I don't find it necessary to walk around in my every day life with a dumb ass grin on my face, do you? What you interpreted as perhaps an angry face was the intent concentration of an 8 month along pregnant woman walking, and not comfortably mind you, on wet pavement, making sure that with every step she didn't fall.
How about this for the next time you encounter someone who you feel might need some encouragement to lighten up; try smiling at them and giving them a standard greeting such as 'Hello, how are you today? Lovely day, isn't it? My, what a pretty hand-knit hat. Did you make that yourself?' Barking orders to 'SMILE' from 20 feet away just ain't gonna cut it, mister.
Now if you were someone that I know but didn't recognize, which is unlikely, but is sometimes the case, then, hey, my bad. Try referring to me by name next time and I'll be less likely to give you such a dirty look.
Continuing in this vein (this feels kinda good);
An Open Letter to the Superstore;
You never have what I want or what I'm looking for. Why is this? You're a grocery store. As a quick example, here's three options for bananas that I can look forward to upon entering your establishment. Which one on what day is a complete mystery. Part of the intrigue perhaps?
--Violent green bananas
--Diseased mostly brown bananas
--No bananas. Yes, we have no bananas today...apparently.
What happened to small jars of salsa? Why don't you carry peameal bacon? Why do people who want to chat congregate at the end of isles? Why are chicken breasts ten bloody dollars? Why do I spend twice as much money on groceries nowadays and get a quarter or what I used to in my cart? Why were the little pink baby pea coats on sale and not the little navy baby pea coats? I would've bought a navy one ya know.
*sigh*...now my dog just about bit me for trying to reprimand his barking. This day sucks.
Until later...
4 comments:
When I was younger someone always told me to smile more. I said there's no way I'm going around with a smile on my face all the time. People will think I'm an idiot.
You shoulda got the plate of the dink that slushed you. You have connections, remember.
As for the SS, the never have half of what is in the flyer. I hate that place. I went over the other day and wanted the $2 frozen peas. None. Typical. Didja notice that lately all you see are, "Sorry, temporarily out of stock" tags?
Quoting the ever popular song from Annie: "The sun will come out tomorrow"! Some days just suck. But there are way more nice days and way more nice people out there. You just meant all the bad ones in one day!
Ugh - I had one of those days last week. Icey sidewalks, a bus that didn't wait for the connection at the terminal and someone who made me want to punch them right in the nose... If I had done that, I probably could have blamed it on "crazy, pregnant lady hormones"... but in actual fact, I would have wanted to punch that person on a normal day.
Well you made me laugh, and not at you either. So if it's any consolation you've made my day better!
DJ and I COMPLETELY empathize with you about the SS. DJ is right there with you - whole heartedly.
Sending you a cozy cup of hot chocolate and big stick with which to wack annoying people vibes.
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