A Blessing

I've been trying to compose this post for a while now, knowing it was coming. I think back to the post I wrote for my daughters first birthday, how concise and profound it seems to me now. I wanted to honour my son's milestone with some equal profundity.

My mind is a jumble. There is much I want to say about this past year. So much to process, mostly bittersweet feelings of letting go and moving on, of one phase giving way to another, of saying good-bye to the baby and hello to the boy, of saying good-bye to babies in my house forever and how sad, how very very sad that makes me.

His was a very worried pregnancy, borne of less naivete than a first timer. Subsequently, I had a very worried baby on my hands once he entered our realm. A serious and worried little person who didn't really seem too keen to trust these crazy people.

But he relaxed over time, and once he was able to eat what he really wanted, which was what was on our plates, and move where he wanted, which was just about everywhere, he was as happy as a clam.

He's a funny boy, a sweet boy, a shy boy, and a cuddly boy. He loves to be tossed around by his dad and snuggled close by his mom. And when he was really wee, the only two things that would make my  Grumplestilskin happy was his bouncy chair and his big sister. He still lights up like a Christmas tree when he sees her enter the room. He adores her, and she likewise. It's the most amazing thing to watch.

So for all the worry and the fear and the trepidation that was all for naught, what I was left with once I held him in my arms and rocked him to sleep night after night, was a blessing. He, my second child, calmed me down, because I had to be to make him calm. He slowed me down, because I needed to take my time with him. He made me pause and really absorb his baby-ness, because he's my last.

Which is why, every night before I lay him down to sleep, I hold him close and whisper in his ear;

'You are a blessing to me.' (To which he giggles, because the whispering tickles his ear!)

Happy Birthday my son. I love you with all of my heart.