The Surreal Life...

So here's the thing. I'm living back in my hometown whilst my husband is off learning how to take down perps. So that in itself is sorta weird. Then I get my old job back working part time at a mom and pop movie shop. In haven't worked there since I was a student, which has been a while now, and pretty much nothing has changed. I worked a close shift for the first time, again, about a week or so ago and when I was done, I half expected to walk across the street to the little house I used to live in, as though the last four or five years of my life hadn't ever occurred. It unsettled me a bit. It was one of those moments where all the reading you did in your first year philosophy class at university about the nature of reality came flooding into your conciousness and you're like, "holy shit, am I really just a brain in a jar, dreaming up my own life?"

I love the movie store job. If I could make a decent living doing this for the rest of my life, I totally would. Unfortunately, rent and return doesn't exactly bring in six figures. Just peace of mind, which may be more valuable, but doesn't pay the bills.
I've done other retail jobs and this is the only one where you're garunteed that people are in a good mood almost all of the time. It's Friday night, they're winding down after a long week. Couples come in together, the kids are out of the house, they're looking for a quiet evening alone. Teenagers renting stupid horror movies, giggling and jostling and joking around (just generally being pains in the ass). Little kids all excited about some other dumb animated flick. It's a good job. And I get to know my movies, a skill that I was once quite proud of. But, just like when I worked at Pizza Slut, after a while you reach a saturation point. You just don't want to look at or eat another pizza. I've been out of the movie game for a while. Time to get back on a training schedule. And oh, would you check this out...movie watching and knitting just happen to be a perfect match!

In all my accumulated years of working in the movie rental biz, I've seen a lot of people. But last night I saw something I had never seen before. Never. Not once.
This area is very rural in nature. Farming is a religion around here. As such, there is a significant Mennonite community in and around the county. Last night, around eight or nine o'clock, a Mennonite couple came in to the store. They walked right over to the New Release wall to check out the DVD's. DVD's people. We used to be the place where VHS (and really bad VHS) movies came to die. We were like the VHS museum. Not so anymore thank god. New ownership, new vision. But I digress. I was expecting that if Mennonites were going to come in and rent anything, it would be VHS. They just have that retro kind of vibe.

Admitedly, I know very little about Mennonites as a group. For a long time, I assumed they were much like the Amish. Living separate from the larger society, limiting or rejecting technology, living simply, farming, dressing simply etc. etc. The women are always done up in homemade dresses, made from very, hmmm, unflattering polyester fabrics, with their hair in kerchiefs. The men in simple jeans and button down shirts, usually plaid in nature, with a large John Deere hat to complete the ensemble. I did notice that they drove vehicles, usually large and run down vans to accomodate their large families. As for the stance on the rest of technology, I was unclear. But apparently their into DVD's. Which must mean that they have televisions and DVD players. And by natural extension of this line of logic, electricity. Oh, and they usually speak German to each other. I'm pretty sure it's German anyway. And the women generally have man hands. Very manish looking hands.

So the Mennonite couple come into the store and I'm a little flabbergasted. You see them at the grocery store or Tim Horton's having a coffee and smoking, (before smoking was outlawed EVERYWHERE and smokers became the new social pariahs...I'm no longer a smoker but I remember a time when we were the majority) but that's about it. I thought perhaps they were lost. But they knew their way around the store, so they'd obviously been there before. It wasn't long before they came up to the counter to read the coming release materials posted everywhere. "Do you have You, Me and Dupree in?" the Mennonite gentleman asks. Blown away by this question, I manage to respond, "No, not until Nov. 21".
"Do you have anything else that's funny?"
"Have you seen Click, the new Adam Sandler movie?"
"Yep."
"Hmmmm....(cuz I haven't seen a lot of movies lately and this question is really stumping me)"
"What about The Break Up, is that supposed to be funny?"
Mennonite wife: "Oh I saw that when I was in the United States. It's not funny. It's terrible."

Okay, so apparently, not only do Mennonites watch movies, but they've seen more movies than I have at this point. Certainly more new releases. I was obviously of no help to them. At all. The Mennonites, who's only real religious stance is dressing strangely, from what I can glean, are hipper than I am. I am now more backward and out of touch than Mennonites. I surrender.

They perused the titles for another twenty minutes or so and then decided that they had seen all that we had to offer and left, leaving me feeling very stunned and insecure in their wake. The world is gaining on me, and I am ill equipped to adapt. When Amish teenagers are struggling with alcohol and drug addiction, (see The Devils Playground...interesting doc.) and Mennonites want to watch an Owen Wilson movie, I'm just not sure where I fit into the scheme of things anymore. What's next, Orthodox Jewish rock stars?

Wait...I think there's already Jews for Jesus, so what the heck, the rock stars can't be far behind. Oi vey.